Connecting – A Frightening Prospect!

Do you make yourself ‘hard to meet?’

Many of us do! Why?

Read through this blog post I received recently from Seth Godin:


Faux intimacy

True connection is a frightening prospect.

When you are seen by someone else, really seen, it hurts even more if you’re
ultimately rejected. When we connect, we make promises, buy into a
different future, engage with another, someone who might let us
down (or we might let them down).

Far easier, of course, to do something more shallow.

A friend on social media is not like a friend in real life.

And so, we sit at dinner, browsing on our phone instead of connecting with
the person across from us. Because the phone promises instant gratification,
an exciting dopamine hit, and plenty of faux intimacy.

Which is great as far as it goes, but no, it’s not the same.


I’ve seen what he’s talking about here–we opt for shallow instead of really ‘seeing’ someone else. I talk about this in my The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil book. Part of the reason we don’t want to really ‘see’ someone is the rejection issue Seth mentions above, however I believe a greater tension is that we are so focused on ourselves that we have a hard time ‘seeing’ others as human beings–it’s out of our comfort zone.

I’ve recently seen surveys that are showing that we, as people, are becoming more isolated from each other then ever before & it’s attributed to our ‘screen time’–that time we spend engaged with our screens instead of with each other.

Relationships (connections) can hurt; but we need them as humans. We crave the intimacy we can have with another human and search it out–albeit, sometimes in inappropriate ways.

Love hurts! (you now have that song floating through your head for the rest of the day) But, having true connections; connections that care about ‘you’ are so worth it.

Don’t misinterpret here–I’m not saying that every connection you make will become an intimate type of connection, but just think of how many of your connections you are holding at arms length because you don’t want to be hurt or are so focused on ‘you’ that you don’t even ‘see’ them for who they are. Those connections we make online are much easier to disengage or ignore when we want to. When we are in a face-to-face situation and make a new connection, and you feel a bond with the person, what do you do with it? Ignore it or develop it? If you’re not at the networking event to find true networking partners, then who are you looking for?

NEWS ITEM: Fake intimacy is everywhere–bonds are much harder to break!

Don’t lose out on a possible great connection when you feel a bond with them–it’s the environment where real intimacy lies. Next time, when you feel that bond, ask the person to have a cup of coffee sometime (Success hint: set it up on the spot or you won’t) and explore how they may become a true ‘results-oriented networking partner’ with you. Notice I didn’t say ‘for you’ in the last sentence; it’s ‘with you’ because it’s a two-way street and some you feel a bond with, you will desire to help.

Don’t make yourself hard to meet by ignoring what you’re hearing from the other person. If you listen to them, you very well may be on the crux of making a new friend who will help you in many ways.

BONUS TIP: Make sure you’re on top of the three devastating mistakes most networkers make while networking. If not reigned in, they can totally ruin a relationship before it can develop. Email me and I’ll send you my paper on the topic.

EVENT ON THE HORIZON: Keep an eye out for the next round of my Networking Extravaganza’s. I’m preparing one in Medina and Canton, Ohio for the fall of 2017. Also, preparing for one’s in Akron & Strongsville, Ohio for the beginning of the year 2018. There are still some ‘Hosting’ spots open–if you’re interested or would like to know what it means to host, please email me here and I will get you the information.

Hope to see you soon.

ONward, Bob Arnold

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If you’re not a member of “Bob’s Pencil Points” blog, click here to join. Periodic glimpses into the deeper world of networking. One new connection for you is worth more than you can imagine.

His book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” is available HERE.

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As an author, networker, and architect, Bob simply believes in and has seen networking make phenomenal changes in people’s lives and businesses. Check out Bob’s story.

Everybody Has a Voice!

Everybody has a voice!

“Why aren’t you working on big Concert Halls?” I was asked by an architectural client of mine one day as he watched me work on a model of an innovative new building concept I was developing for his company. He went on: “As I watch you develop this building, I can’t help but get visions of you designing ‘great performance halls’ where people would enjoy themselves and be changed by what is carried out on stage. Your vision and intuition in these things is wasted on this industrial building—there’s so much more to you than this. I know, because I’ve listened to your explanation of how this building will enhance my business and I’ve watched you as you work.”

He was serious. I was flabbergasted!

Many thoughts about it have crossed my mind over the last few years as I’ve continued with my architectural practice & as I’ve developed into a networking mentor. But, something struck me yesterday as this topic came up in a conversation I was having with my financial advisors. One of them said as we talked, “So Bob, you want to produce change in the world—have a lasting effect.” , he said. To which I replied, “Yes.”  However, as it has worked in my head since yesterday, I’ve realized that’s not the real, or complete, intent.

I’ve realized: My concert hall is you, the individual, the inventor, the innovator, the one who cares about others. You cross many disciplines, many industries, many environments, and many networks.

Your life is the performance I like to see shine; your life is where performance is carried out. It’s not always pretty, but its life.

Your environment is your concert hall. My function and desire is to shape and fashion your concert hall into an environment that makes it easy and natural for you to shine. This environment can be a building or a mindset you develop–it’s what you operate in that matters.

Those are not just words—they are a declaration! My destiny is to help you see the beauty and challenges of your environment so we can develop that environment into a concert hall that supports your mission.

 “How’s your Concert Hall?”

For one person, it has brought out Joy that’s going to have an effect on many people. That’s cool! (Hint: click the word ‘Joy’ for the story)

 

BONUS TIP: I’ve opened a 3-hour PRIMER of my in-progress ‘Networking Extravaganza’ for you to attend this next Wednesday (May 10th) at a much reduced price. It will open up this world I speak of above for you to get a glimpse of. These 3 hours are an appetizer for you to feast on. HERE are the details.

Hope to see you soon.

ONward, Bob Arnold

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If you’re not a member of “Bob’s Pencil Points” blog, click here to join. Periodic glimpses into the deeper world of networking. One new connection for you is worth more than you can imagine.

His book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” is available HERE.

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As an author, networker, and architect, Bob simply believes in and has seen networking make phenomenal changes in people’s lives and businesses. Check out Bob’s story.

An ONward Networking Event…

…where we ‘value’ people, enjoy finding new contacts, and ‘want to learn’ more about making our networking effective.

There’s nothing in the Networking World that’s worse than ‘Spin’–those times when you feel trapped in your networking, you feel frazzled running from one event to another, and you feel depressed because you aren’t finding any new contacts. In my new book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” I’ve made it plain that it’s up to you to make a visit to a networking event a productive venture for you. Now understand though, while the responsibility is upon you, there are many networking events you attend that are not designed to set the stage for your success.

That’s why I’ve taken your criticism of event hopping seriously and designed an event that is set up for your success. First off the people in the room will only be there because they place ‘value’ on you as a person. Second, those in the room are interested in finding new contacts who can become ‘Networking Partners’  with you of the highest order. And, third, everyone present is interested in ‘learning’ a little about how they can become a more effective networker, so they want to hear some clarity about some sticky networking issue–at this event it will be about “How to Increase Your Success Rate Directly from Your Current Network!”

Sign up link is HERE

So, watch this ‘Spin-video’ I prepared for you:

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(Transcript of video)

Howdy,

Bob Arnold of ONward Networking presenting the next edition of Bob’s Pencil Point’s blog.

I’m out here in beautiful Allardale Park in the Medina County Park District and I need to tell you about something people keep mentioning to me.

There’s something you feel, many, many times as you’re going to networking events: before you know it you feel like you’re just going in circles—you’re going to this event, and that event at that place, and that place, and that place. Before you know it you’re just going around, and around, and around, and running from one place to another, feeling all shook up about where you should be.

Even though, like in this view, there are endless horizons in front of you when you attend a networking event.

It’s ‘True’ that there are!

But, I’ve got to tell you that too many of us find problems with our networking—we find it is not effective for us.

In my book, The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil, in chapter 8 (Networking Events—The Pencil at Work) the Napkin Note reads: The Networking Event is an opportunity for greatness! It’s your choice to be Great—or Not!

Too many of us just feel like we are spinning our wheels at networking events.

So, what I’ve done is design a networking event that will take place on April 26th. It will be in Brunswick, Ohio from 4:30 – 6:00 pm.

We will have a variety of things there that foster networking interaction:

  • there will be a teaching piece where I will explain about ‘How we can turn our contact lists into effective lists for us,’
  • We will also have a little bit of fun. There will be a ‘Virtual-Reality’ set up by Scene 75 who will show us some action from a virtual reality angle. (They are opening a new location in Brunswick soon.)
    • Too many times we wish we could just put on a pair of goggles and walk through an event feeling secure and effective. But, that’s not the real world—even though it might feel like it.

We need to work forward; we need to have networking that works!

It’s only $15 to attend and there will be some snacks and food there for you.  Sign up link is HERE

You will get to meet some great people in the room who will want to network with you.

I’ll also tell you a little bit about what’s going on with my Networking Extravaganza which is in progress and, by time of this event, two of the three sessions will have been completed.

I invite you to join us:

April 26, 2017 at KHM Travel Group, 1152 Pearl Road in Brunswick, Ohio

Sign up link is HERE

If the link does not work, put the following in your browser: http://bit.ly/2pTsYmJ

 

I look forward to seeing you there. This is going to be an event not like most other ones you attend. It’s important to me to help you be effective in your networking—and, find your own Greatness!

ONward, Bob Arnold

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There you have it– Let’s Network!

Sign up link is HERE

 

BONUS TIP: When you attend a networking event–DON’T try to meet EVERYONE in the room; make it your goal to meet 5 people that you get to know a little about. Look for Networking Partners–Not business cards.

Hope to see you there.

ONward, Bob Arnold

Onward_Logo

If you’re not a member of “Bob’s Pencil Points” blog, click here to join. Periodic glimpses into the deeper world of networking. One new connection for you is worth more than you can imagine.

His book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” is available HERE.

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As an author, networker, and architect, Bob simply believes in and has seen networking make phenomenal changes in people’s lives and businesses. Check out Bob’s story.

Spring is in the Air – it’s Extravaganza Time!

Spring is in the Air!

Every year I wonder what it is that makes Spring so magical. I think it’s the smell that floats through the air–even though the flowers haven’t started blooming yet. Okay, for you hard-liners, I know there are a few that have bloomed, but not the heavy on-slot that is yet to come. It seems the animals start moving around a little easier and the baby birds start filling the air with their harmony (you probably call it chirping, but to me it’s a harmony).

But, there’s something else too–the fact that we can start freely networking with people again without all the winter garb on that inhibits us from being ourselves as we shiver in the cold. I love to see the trees and the landscape fill in, just like I love to see a networkers influence grow through their network.

So, listen up to this little video I prepared for you:

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(Transcript of video)

Hi Everyone;

This is Bob Arnold and I’m out in the middle of the woods again!

It’s time to get back to doing the videos. Last one was in November and so I’m back to being in the woods. It’s time! Winter is over! This is actually April 9th and I’m out on a trail in the Hinckley Reservation in Ohio. You probably can see some branches and trees down behind me in the distance from the recent winds we had in the area.

Believe it or not—just two days ago we had 4 inches of snow come down overnight. Almost shut school down on Friday, but some of them persevered and stayed open.

I want to let you know that I’m starting off spring with an event—It’s the Networking Extravaganza. I’m starting the first meeting of three this Wednesday (April 12th) at the Medina Community Recreation Center. Sign-in is at 9:30 am with the main program staring at 10:30 am (there will be a mini-start at 10:00 am for those of you who are there) and it goes till 3:30 in the afternoon.

The reason I’m doing this is there are a lot of people who tell me that they are having a lot of difficulty on how to actually make their contact lists work for them. So, we will be working on that.

In fact, I’m guaranteeing that you will have 3 new effective contacts by the time you finish out the full three session series. Each session is 2 weeks apart with different things going on at each one, but you can find out what that is by going to www.onwardnetworking.com/events (or HERE). You’ll see a letter and sign-up form there along with the program & cost of attending.

I hope to see you there. Let me know if you’d like to attend at this email address. Just send the form in and we will get you signed up for it.

ONE Other Thing! By signing up and coming, you will get a free copy of my new book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” (you can see it here) + you will get the resource materials that you’ll need to ‘build a model’ of your contact list. YES! A model that you will be able to look at, be able to take home with you to see what is going on in the list; who should be in the list; and, who shouldn’t be in your contact list.

So, let me know! Again, Go Here for the info or Email me Here

I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon and getting to more videos out here in the woods.

ONward, Bob

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So, if networking is in your blood and you want to be more effective in how you meet, and find, people who are more effective in your contact group (influence group), then come on and join us for some real learning that will put your contact list in the ‘effective’ pile on your desk.

If you can’t commit to all three meetings up front, there is a per-meeting option on the sign-up sheet–take advantage of it and at least be at the first one so you can make some progress.

NOTE: The Networking Extravaganza will be the topic of your conversations for awhile after you complete them, because you will find that an effective contact list is like upping your marketing budget by 100% without spending a dime.

BONUS TIP: Influence is the number one characteristic of those who make a splash in the world–even in our community, that’s true.

Hope to see you there.

ONward, Bob Arnold

Onward_Logo

If you’re not a member of “Bob’s Pencil Points” blog, click here to join. Periodic glimpses into the deeper world of networking. One new connection for you is worth more than you can imagine.

His book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” is available HERE.

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As an author, networker, and architect, Bob simply believes in and has seen networking make phenomenal changes in people’s lives and businesses. Check out Bob’s story.

…you were cute!

When you were first born you were cute! Or at least everyone said so.

It was easy to get people’s attention. It was easy to meet people. All you had to do was smile or make funny noises. You even learned that screaming your head off got attention. And, tears—oh my, what effect they have…

Why did meeting people get so complicated? It got complicated as you were told about, or experienced, all the ‘bad people.’ We learn not to talk to strangers—strangers are bad!

Pretty soon in life you most likely learned to ride a bike. It was not an easy task.

In fact, there was a lot of anxiety associated with it because you knew you were going to fall down.

Learning to ride a bike is not done buy just watching someone or by reading a book. It is learned by learning what not to do that causes a failure (falling down). You actually ‘must’ experience it by getting ‘On the bike!’

How steady is your hand holding the handlebars? Your balance has to be learned all over again.

But once you get it you never forget how to ride a bike. And, the benefits of that learning—Oh my, they are exponential!

You may have been cute when you were born and found it easy to meet people, but that gracefulness may have become much more challenging—especially in the business arena.

It’s the most common complaint I hear as I run networking events. We’ve forgotten some basic principles of how to meet and grow with people.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Check out the Networking Extravaganza, starting this Wednesday in Medina, Ohio.

Once you learn, you’ll never forget. It’s as easy as learning to ride a bike!

And, the benefits? Oh my…you won’t believe!

 

BONUS TIP: Learning to ride a bike takes concentration, quick action, watching little successes turn into failure, and listening to Dad as he helps you understand the mistakes you make. Sound a little like networking? You bet!

Hope to see you there.

ONward, Bob Arnold

Onward_Logo

If you’re not a member of “Bob’s Pencil Points” blog, click here to join for periodic glimpses into the deeper world of networking. One new connection for you is worth more than you can imagine.

His book “The Uncanny Power of the Networking Pencil” is available here. It’s the only book on networking that reveals where the real power is in networking. Read as he puts a new light on networking for you and shows how the simple pencil will instill peace inside about the networking process.

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As an author, networker, and architect, Bob simply believes in and has seen networking make phenomenal changes in people’s lives and businesses. Check out Bob’s story.